Letting Go, Letting Be, Letting Begin…
Transcript for July 3, 2011 by Bob Kleinheksel
Think with me of an astronaut’s perspective from high above the earth. Imagine the majesty, the interconnectedness of all things, the amazing web of life. It would be quite easy to affirm the sense of interdependency of all things from that vantage point – that we are all responsible for and reliant upon everyone and everything else. Imagine the seeming peacefulness from orbit, being able to witness the blue, spinning orb…beautiful, sacred, awe-inspiring. Then, imagine the unbelievably intense re-entry process through the atmosphere. Transition. Think of the heat, the friction, the resistance…..then the relief after that part of the journey is complete. I want us to think with large perspective as an astronaut, who has blasted off escaping gravity, then into orbit gazing from high above the atmosphere toward earth.
Transitions, big picture perspectives, interdependency and re-discovery are themes I wish to explore briefly with you today. I hope to inspire confidence, tease out some further questions and provide intrigue for the chapters ahead in the life of this community. In the end, I would have you all inspired about the journey of life and this community even in the midst of sadness, anxiety, hopes and questioning…and then to be able to re-affirm core reasons for this community and belonging to it in your own unique ways.
I am with you. I am committed to you in this very intriguing and for some anxious time. These times are trying, hopeful, unsettling, exciting as well. I am sensitive to the feelings and responses to recent realities, conversations and decisions. We are in this together…and yet each of us stands in some solitary ways, sorting through the vast array of questions, hopes and reasons for being in community.
Letting go, letting be, letting begin. These three phrases describe the phases of transition. William Bridges and Jack Sullivan have been my guides in learning about and passing along transition theory and practice. Letting go is the phase of endings, processing deep feelings, taking time to mourn, recognizing change, dealing with loss of identity and meaning. Experiencing clarity, relief and excitement as well. Letting be or a middle zone is an active time of discernment, taking care of oneself, connecting with support and resources. This is a phase of taking stock and evaluating what may be next. Celebrating what has been gained from the journey thus far. Preparing for next chapters of living. Letting Begin is the third phase in transitions that includes resolutely continuing life with a sense of direction and purpose. Expressing our gifts to the world. Being and bringing about the new in some fresh way.
I like the way Lewis Carroll – with Alice in Wonderland, gets at the issues around change.
“Who are YOU?” said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I–I hardly know, sir, just at present– at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”
We are changing all the time. As individuals and communities. Many times since yesterday! We sell homes, go through divorces, birth children ,see loved ones die. And this community continues on its journey of change in its long history. There is a reality and a quality side by side: Transition and interdependency.
The reality of transitions always happening; the quality of interdependence we strive to live out in this connected world we enjoy. A quality of staying connected through good and difficult times and seeing the large perspective as an astronaut. Transitions and changes unfold constantly. Knowingly and unknowingly we are engaged with transitions….stages between changes. My hair, as I speak, is getting minutely more gray. My body is aging. My joints are failing a bit more each day. Our kids are growing, evidenced by the purchase of new clothes and shoes. We can hear change in their voices. Our greater economy fluctuates. Our investments rise and fall. We are learning new things every day. The only constant is change itself.
And we like our independence though, don’t we? We love to be able to hop in our cars or bikes and get to where we need to go. We like detached homes. We like our own power washers and garages. And this is natural and life giving in its own way. Yet, we are also interdependent – connected, sharing common fates, unraveling or building together. We are linked through blood and bone, through history and tradition – creating and experiencing beauty and hurt alike through what we do, what we say, how we think. Our actions, habits, behavior and words impact everything and everyone else around. My discouragement will affect you. So, too, will my honesty, optimism, open mindedness. Like the astronaut, we see the big picture, the interdependency of all things. We see how our states of mind, our decisions affect each other.
Two main stories from Hebrew/Jewish writings and one from the Greek Christian gospels help us identify where we have been and who we are and where we are going purposefully as a community on the way; a community that must not lose sight of its vision and reasons for being in the midst of much stress, wonder and intrigue.
The first come from Exodus. A story to help us with processing endings and letting go. Israelites transitioning from Egypt No real archaeological evidence for this huge migration of people moving through lands toward some promised lan-.BUT an example of a community, a people in transition. Perhaps a model for us. The story compels us to ask certain questions: What do we take with us on the journey? What do we leave behind? Will we band together or splinter? How much will we trust? How open-minded or discouraged will we be? How committed will we be for the tough and exciting changes ahead? The Hebrew people were headed to another home, another land. They had purpose, vision and leadership. Sure they had questions, doubts and uncertainty as well as evidenced by dissent, in-fighting, various idolatries. We are no different. How endings go is up to us. Will we grieve properly? Will we be mature and hold ourselves accountable for the things that have filled our journey in recent years or decades? Endings need to be done as thoroughly as possible, for we do not wish to take unneeded baggage into the wilderness, into the active phase of discernment and continuance toward a new land. Exodus, letting go.
Jesus was an inclusive spiritual leader….rooted in Judaism, yet explored beyond it…incorporating universal truths in his life and teaching. He emphasized things spiritual over things physical – and yet he thoroughly enjoyed the world. He was completely human and struggled with his place and purpose on earth. He experienced a battle of thoughts and temptations while discerning his ministry – retreating on his own into the desert. It was an in between time. Jesus had to discern what he would be about. The gospel account helps us with the phase of letting be. It describes Jesus wrestling with temptations and actively discerning what his message and life would be about. He took time; he was thorough in his exploration. He did what he had to do in this time of discernment in order to go forthrightly into his active ministry and teaching. We will need to band together and re-assess where we are going, who we will be, what our priorities will be as we travel, as we re-discover our identities, as we move into a transition period beyond certain familiar surroundings. Will we care for each other? Will we listen, take time to explore where we have been and where we are going….and what we need to do? Letting be….
I find myself in my 23rd year connected to this community. It has been and continues to be a community I am deeply committed to. It is always humbling and challenging to stand before and with you, for many of our lives have intersected over the years. And now, I face you – the new and those who have been around longer periods of time. You are my community, flawed and foibled, gifted and graced. I am grateful to be with you now. And I look forward to the next chapters of community life with you.
When I came in the summer of 1988, I witnessed the community gaining more appeal, prominence and resistance. Pluralism, interfaith dialogue, the nature of salvation – were all explored again and these conversations stimulated great dialogue, controversy, transition and growth. Beginning in 1994 this community embarked on re-identifying itself once again with a new mission statement. The community became an opening and welcoming church, having explored the issues of sexual orientation. Almost 150 people left when we became more open and inclusive. Then the situation with the denomination unfolded, compelling this community to affirm its direction and team configuration by voting to become an independently governed church community. Again, many people left because they wished to remain connected to a mainline denomination, but many people were drawn here. From 1996 till now, C3 has continued to forge ahead, exploring issues, theological and life dilemmas, celebrating the distinctions and the unity of the great religious traditions as well as creating a safe environment to be with each other even with differences and disagreements. I recount these chapters not to remember unnecessarily about days and battles gone by, but to indicate once more that events, changes, break-throughs, difficulties and transitions have always happened and continue to happen. Incidently, I also raise these events because they are still part of the fabric and consciousness of many of us and indeed this community. Things are always changing; we are always including all that has been and transcending much of it as well. All this continues today. We are a community on the way, in the middle.
Back in 1870, a fledgling group of Dutch speaking immigrants organized and established the First Refd Church of Spring Lake to share good news as they understood it and to promote the life, doctrines, salvation and teachings of Jesus. They sought to be a light, to be a transforming, catalyst for good, for hope, for peace and love. They are our forbears. (I actually came across the minutes and notes contained in a book from 1870 written long hand in Dutch. There were requests for weddings and the life and times of the community were presented and recorded). We are the descendants of their efforts. And the commerce of the community went on. In 1945 the community celebrated its 75th anniversary. In 1970 the community celebrated its 100th anniversary with renewed emphasis upon the well-being of the community and with a name change. The 125th anniversary has come and gone…and now we stand here 141 years later. We stand poised on yet another threshold…one of many over the years. The ideological and theological changes are noticeable, but the main purpose remains the same: To be and become better human beings for the encouragement of each other and to impact this world. To both enjoy and enhance this world. What else would we do?
I turn now to the second of the Hebrew narratives in Jeremiah 29. If the Exodus passage illuminates themes around endings and the Gospel passage helps us see what happens in the middle zone of letting be, then this passage helps us with where we begin again – Letting begin. The Israelites were in Babylonia; taken captive from their homeland. The people of Israel were suspended, in transition, people in an alien land…in new territory…wondering how to proceed….to resist change? to resist unity and connecting with the surrounding culture? To wait until they were back home before they went on with their lives? The prophet encourages them, urges them to marry, make homes, make gardens, make love….because in seeking the welfare of the city, they would find and create their own welfare. They would be about new beginnings…even in a strange land not feeling totally like home to them.
This is our purpose. To continue being ourselves; to recognize loss, to be firm in our convictions as to the nature of this community. The prophet basically urged the people of Israel to get busy living instead of stifling growth and resisting the possibilities. Deal as best you can with your realities and get busy living. Stay together, be one, be supportive and live life to the fullest! Even if not in your plan A reality!
Like the captive Israelites in a distant land, we strive and recommit to living our lives in honor of this world and what the world needs. We move beyond mere surviving to thriving….building new homes, forming new relationships, planting gardens, giving ourselves to people and the world in service, love, justice and compassion. Moving beyond worries of money and re-situating ourselves toward service and care. Seeking the welfare of the city and thus experiencing new and deep satisfaction. Continuing on in the long and rich history and story of this community. You and me. Now and in the months ahead.
This community has created, welcomed and risked changes and shifts over its 141 year history and story, a story that continues on fallibly of course…but with continued resolve to impact this world with and through deepening humanity, peace-making, sustainability and relevant models of religion and life. This is a place of intentional living – a place to explore values in our various life contexts. This is a place that is meant to inspire us to be more of who we are…to live out our gifts and passions for the world. This is a hard community to be part of because it demands our best thinking. It demands our fuller engagement to be compassionate, intelligent, sensitive, patient and respectful. This place invites your honest questions and your tentative responses as well as your firm convictions. We struggle with our intolerance of intolerance and anything that might get in the way of allowing or inviting our fellow human beings live in freedom and to be all they can be. We are an inclusive, spiritual community – but this does not mean anything goes. On the contrary, we define what is important for ourselves and live values out as best we can. We are not here to please everyone; we are here to welcome everyone onto the journey of discovery and re-discovery. We are here to live out values that add to life, that help heal the planet, that embolden others to be all they can be.
And in these transitions we understand there are not only endings, middle zones and new beginnings, but vast and rich continuance as well. A continuance of community, of history, story and vision. A continuance of the 141 year history of making differences, changing the world, learning, growing, modeling out love, life satisfactions and grace. Are you along for the ride? Can we journey away from the shore again with each other for a while to realize a new, provocative and important chapter for this community? Will you be open to more change, excitement, tough departures? Will you be open to the possibilities that are yet to unfold and be created by the likes of you, this community? It will not be easy – but it is possible if we continue to band together; if we see the astronaut’s perspective.
Sara Saborin, one from this community, guides many in the creation of vision boards. A collage, a visual demonstration of what you wish to see and realize in your world, your life….or in the life of the community. You actually cut and paste words, phrases, attributes, qualities, pictures onto your collage.
So what is your vision – your vision board? What do you wish to accomplish, achieve, experience – as individuals and as a participant in this community? What do you wish for others to observe in your life? Do you want peace, love, happiness as the old song goes? What values do you wish to live out – alone, or in the context of community? This discernment is what we are continually about as a community on the way. What do you wish to change or continue? What do you bring with you, or choose to let go? Imagine the sweep of history one more time….141 years ago and the Dutch speaking community as the First Reformed Church of Spring Lake – to Christ Community – To C3 Exchange – on into the next chapters.
The exodus and endings….moving on, letting go. The time spent in discernment, feeling deeply. Evaluating what has been and what is next. Letting be. Then rediscovery, re articulating and living out the ideals and values, the vision of dynamic community life and service to the world. Letting begin.
I stand with you. I continue the journey with you. You are needed and valued. Your presence is critical to the next chapter of community life as it moves along. I am both reflective and intrigued. Reflective and even melancholy of certain endings and changes; intrigued and confident about what is yet ahead. You are strong, resolute, talented people. This has always been so. I wish to remain with you in the context of an intentional community continuing to impact this world…an open community living out core values for the benefit of all, including ourselves, in this world. To live out justice, sustainability, relevant religion; to live out and promote fairness for all people. Please trust the universe as it unfolds; trust the strength and courage you have in yourself; Trust your fellows in community. Band together. Trust your open-mindedness and ability to see a larger picture. Please trust me as I travel alongside you – and I will count on you and trust you to travel alongside me. Thank you for enabling me to be your minister and fellow journey-mate.
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