Let it be this moment that all gathered feel and invite the synergy of soul, senses and body; that all would be and feel welcome, softened by grace and connection – knowing that those to the left and right, in front and in back have known hardships, who wish the best for us, who will give us the benefit of the doubt, who wish to live with health and happiness -just as we do. We gather now celebrating our common humanity and that we would be both comforted and challenged in this place of growth, learning and serving. Indeed, we weep the same, we are angry, we are overjoyed by the simple and spectacular and a rich, common blood flows within and between us.

We affirm and enjoy the senses: Seeing with eyes and mind’s eyes all the beauty, devastation and realities around. The wet, sticky, repugnant, fluffy, bright, dull and grey. Let us have eyes in love with seeing, for life is too short not to enjoy the beholding of all around. We listen and hear with ears. The loud, the whisper, the silence, the agonizing cries from starving children, the gunshots and mortar rounds across borders and into homes and streets. We hear the applause from speeches and the cynicism marking many in government and on the street. Let us listen and hear acutely and without agenda, for life is too short not to listen carefully and well.

Let us also be about the tactile: Touching, holding, caressing, tending as we can. Creating the world with beauty, as artists fashioning new beauty out of clay. Dirty fingernails, cuts on hands from projects; enjoying the soft, the gritty, each other’s skin, massaging a forehead and gliding fingers through hair. With children, parents, friends and lovers – let the sensual reign and be part of an essential balance of our fleeting existence. Let our touch be gentle, for life is too short and beautiful to be harsh and cruel.

Let our taste enjoy the varied. The salt, the sour, the sweet and bland. Let our taste increase for justice as well, a thirst for fairness even as we would crave an omelete filled with favorite ingredients. As hunger pains increase even now, let us taste all that can be….for there are too many lovely combinations of all that is to not let our tongues be tantalized by the fruit, wine and food of this good earth. So too with smelling…..let us take in the scents, the perfume, the body odors of our humanity. These, too, are real and to be noticed, accepted and enjoyed. Let us taste and smell with passion and openness, for life is too short to miss out on the foul stench and fair delights along the way.

This community gathered has countless cares. Anxieties, great family love and loyalties. Each here has concern for someone near or far. Let us maximize our mindfulness and devotion to the health and circumstances of those around. Aging parents, divorcing couples, estranged friends, at risk kids, those with serious illness and treatments. So many and yet such great capacity to care and feel, to comfort and surround. Let us be about a deep interdependency with and for each other, for it is in serving and tending that we realize a fuller and better self.

We continue to celebrate where soul meets body and that, indeed, there are melodies soaring through our atmospheres. Let the melody be heard. Let the dissonance ring as well….for this too brings about new growth. Let us reconcile and celebrate the spirit and spiritual – the entire fabric of our lives….all that is essential, the 24 hour existence we manage and live out. Let us enjoy and cultivate it all without fear and guilt…and rather with anticipation, guts and grace.

We gather again, knowing and bringing the beauty and quandaries of our bodies. Now, individuals, bodies together….warm, throbbing blood, hearts beating, head colds, runny noses, picture- perfect health, joint ailments and cares. So too, do we join together in common rhythm and accord as community. In touch, reaching out, providing care, comfort, humor and refreshing humanity. Let all bodies, persons be welcome here in our awesome and annoying winter wonderland. Llet all experience some filament of solidarity with each other now and be sustained for the coming days. May my love, our only love be inclusive of ourselves and all around us. Grace, peace and vitality to you all – no matter who you are – you who gather in this center and haven for community growth, inspiration and change.

We celebrate self care and self love without falling into self-absorption. We choose to live as if our bodies our temples without worshipping them at the expense of others and this world in need of our careful attention. We focus on our selves without forgetting to lovingly co-create this world into a better place. We affirm the unique love and light that each demonstrates without becoming attached or preoccupied with our physical frames and features….for we are our bodies, but not only our bodies. Our essence, personality, the ability to create meaningful legacy….our character, history, ideals and values trump and outlast our greatest physical attributes and prowess. Indeed, they go on and on long after we decay into the billions-year-old fabric and dust of the universe.

Are we prepared to live in this harsh and demanding world that seeks to seduce and change us; that seeks to tell us we are beautiful or less than adequate – in need of some product or clothing line to primp us into liking or acceptance? Can we resist the gravitational pull that would swing us away from ourselves? Are we ready to surmise again our portrait in the mirror -to name who we are and who we are not? Over time, let us bend as the willow in the tempest and the stuff of living and relating, but not break into weakened status or unresolved knowing – for we must be who we are: In love, from love, broken by love, choosing and falling into love….love of self, others and this world of our choosing.

May our love, our love of self, with our contentments, acceptance and drive for enhancement, extend far beyond our petty attachments, our ego grandiosities and move out toward others as ripples from a stone thrown upon the quiet and still pond. Ripples of care and tenderness, ripples of humor and tough honesty, ripples that demand the best from others and the best for others. May what we want be what we need in and through all things. We remember those struggling, those undergoing new treatments, those tired of living, the victims of violence, the un-housed, the un-working ones. We are humbly part of this world, this world evolving and bettering – this mass of humanity sharing common blood and bone and DNA – brothers, sisters, bodies…..mothers, fathers, children and friends. Bodies. Loving, living, ending, re-entering the body of all life; the universe still in the making.

Welcome now to this place of comfort and provocation; to this place of ease and intrigue. For today there is new growth and changing of minds. Today there is interest in your lives, your cares, ills and health. Welcome to each other, for we are humbly the ones the world has been waiting for. Let this wintertime melancholy and time of hibernation subdue not your spirits, but beckon you out, to face the difficult, to anticipate and create the new – as plants and animals know deep down the distant invitation of spring only 90 days ahead. Welcome to new beginnings.

We pause as one local community in the wider cosmic backdrop. Individuals, friends, lovers, gay and strait, experienced and very young. So much at stake in this troubled land and yet we know, at least on the surface, that life is never as serious as we suppose-yet more precious than to take it for granted even for a moment.. We stand on the threshold of this new year, bringing our anticipations, our grieving, our fears and hopes. We are betwixt and between as a trapeze artist flying between handholds or a balancing tightrope walker slowly making way to secure footholds. We pause to recognize how the earth spins on its unique axis and how our world changes. Indeed we live in a whole new world, with new assumptions, beliefs, questions and wonder. We our inheritors of what others have planted….so let us know and celebrate the seeds we now cultivate into fuller blooming and fruit which would be as tasty sustenance to those around and to those after we are long gone.

We pause now to meditate on those we know who are in transition; those struggling, those healing, those facing new treatments, those dying. Parents we tend to. Children we are concerned about. Neighbors in need. Relationships dissolving and those mending. We are intimately connected – and our thoughts, prayers, meditations and intent weave unseen and vital connections of care and health with and between us. In this silence, may there be softened and open hearts and minds to these moments and to one another.

And now, we acknowledge the deeper wave – tugging at our hands and minds. Nothing can withstand it. It weaves threads of strength and loyalty among us all. It compels us to be lovers, to stand for justice, to laugh longer, to create connection between sexes and souls and to dwell in the land of the now. We humbly claim our kingship and queenship to everything that falls our way. And we set the stage for new beginnings this day – for today is the beginning of the rest of our lives. Might we begin and continue sowing the seeds for an awesome new year… In honor of each other, in honor of possibility and in honor of Life itself. So let it be.

We live with the hope of spring and the melancholy of winter. We face simplified landscape and trees and the complications of inner turmoil. So too do we now gather with a host of thoughts, anxieties, joys, satisfactions and dissonance in this gathering of good company. Let us unclench our fists, our hearts and minds….so that we soften in our orientation to one another -as neighbors, friends, lovers, allies; putting aside hostility and pettiness if but for a short while.

Let us create welcome, security, ease and good provocation for growth as well. For we are people on the way, becoming, dynamic, lurching and limping, striding and standing up for what may be essential qualities in this holiday season: The celebration of light and love, of families united, of a greater grace and understanding in the world so in need of gentleness and equality. Be of good cheer if you can. Stand in awe of the mystery; surrender to the ways of love and peace in your everyday. Gather now knowing how incredibly important and valued each of you is on this December day full of intention, connection and possibility.

In this season of weakening light and drab bleakness and uncommon beauty, we celebrate the ability to thrive and be. To see more clearly the nature of our lives, to follow more nearly our created purpose, to love more dearly life itself with all its heights and depths; and then to live with greater passion with our work and relationships, with our children and grand children, nieces, nephews, parents, friends and colleagues. Let us enjoy the mirth and merriment of this time, to be lovers in love with both soul and skin, to cultivate hearts in love with attending, minds in love with connecting, eyes in love with seeing and ears in love with listening. Would we say amen to this?! Would we say amen to lives directed to more mature loving, to living peace, of greater justice and community in this world?

Let us see clearly the humble stable within us. Let us let loose the birth of hope and understanding in the world. Let us celebrate a peasant boy born in the world that sparked new awareness and fewer divisions. Let us, each in our own way, give birth to grace, forgiveness, harmony – in a world full of bad behavior, prejudice and pain. For each of us is the change needed in the world in order for it to be a bit gentler, a bit fairer, a bit more beautiful for all people near and far. Let our invocations and greetings, our “happy holidays” and “merry Christmas” be laced with open eyed awareness and genuine goodwill for all we meet. Let our care ring out, as Salvation Army bucketeers near stores, so those living with fears, with cancer, in recovery, in despair are provided a boost of encouragement, support, embrace and hope. You and me, as light in this world, shining brightly just as people long ago spoke of a star heralding new things to come.

Continue this day now with a new shred of confidence, for you are on the way with open eyes. Big eyes, big lives, big thoughts, big plans. This morning let us wake up, as a spring-motivated crocus poking through snow, to a new vision. Wide-eyed, curious, anticipating. Might we all take one step closer to falling in love with life again, for it unfolds minute by minute; our one, wild, amazing life as humans on this spinning earth – now in its fuller leaning away from the sun. We are but a flash of conscious dust and carbon on this cosmic ride we call life. Let’s get at it again. Welcome you all, no matter what you have done, no matter where you have been and where you are going. Your presence and participation brings strength, encouragement, hope and growth to those near you.

We can see more clearly now, for life and essential people and activities span out before us. We know love and pain, grey howling winds and surprising blue skies as well. We are on the big time scene and stage, performers and portrayers for all to see. What will we envision this day? What will we try or risk or think for the first time? What will we do and who will we be? Will we shrink in our smallness or flourish in our largeness? Will we risk audacity and bold existence even if it causes resentment with others? Let our vision advance our lives and humanity and draw out and enhance the lives around us. For together, we can shine, grow, become as we realize our truer, impassioned, en-visioned selves.

Remember now the hurting, the lonely, the ones who need an embrace – who only go to the barber shop or salon now because someone touches them. A merciful touch. Might we be the smile, the hug, the kind word, the gesture of service, the visitation to another….the act of patience, the source of humor, the taste and drink for another. We remember Doug Chestnut, Sherm Robinson and so many others dealing with health issues and loss. We remember. Let us be a blessing, the light, the day, the hope for those around…..let us be the way.

Let us now recognize that what may prompt us to any new action or vision is a still small voice. An inkling, a thought bubbling repeatedly to the surface through the waters of our minds- no longer to be ignored. A recognized dissatisfaction- demanding attention, sucking the marrow of life. Who am I and what am I about? Is my life expanding and are my tasks, thoughts, plans and people around feeding me – pushing me toward more fulfilling days and ways?

We pause and gather this day – to be inspired, to be a welcoming, safe, inclusive group committed to new ways and visions – exploring and living out values that transform self and society. That usher in new equality, community, justice and hope to an incredible and desperate world in need of awakened ones, people impassioned with new vision and soul. Let it be.

Peace and gratitude be yours, to share, enjoy and celebrate. Peace that comes from a deep down knowing that we are not alone, that others around are pulling for us. Gratitude as well, after meals and gatherings and yes, leftovers too, for we indeed give thanks for the unfolding universe – even through difficult times. For this is a time, as are all times, to live as fully as we can in our varied and vast circumstances. This is a season, as are all seasons, to look beyond ourselves in compassionate acts and wonder to our fellows, our children, our parents, colleagues and friends. This is a day, as are all days, to scheme about love, about service…..about how to enhance and enjoy this world- you children, parents, teens, lovers, spouses – you good and gathered folk in- this grand center… everybody get together, be at peace and abide in gratitude, smile on each other brothers and sisters….for life is too short and full not to feel, to taste, to help, to risk intimacy in some new life-giving and even daring way.

On the doorstep now to winter wonder and the advent of holiday times. We accept diminishing light and the slow progression toward sniffly noses, hunkered down inconvenience-as well as unique beauty in this West Michigan land. Frost greets us now in the morning signaling full on winter ahead. Trees bare except for a few seemingly defying rain, frost and wind. What of these bursts of tree color so late in this releasing and harvest time? Just another point of reflection scattered in our lives full of challenges, deep feelings, frustrations, anxieties and delights.

We remember that those to our left and to our right, in front and back, struggle as we do. They know hardship, limitations and pain – to various degrees – as we do. They wish for our happiness and full engagement in life- just as we do; they are for us and not against us. They invite our compassionate responses to the world and to each other -as we do for them. Let our prayers and meditations, our purposefulness and intent be inclined toward the health and well being of others -here, now…and beyond this space toward all persons.. May grace and soft living be our emerging orientation to ourselves and toward those we care for.

May compassion be a fuller language, choice and destination in our living and deciding. May it flourish and flair and shape us into more than we are – for there is much to feel, give and receive. A lover’s touch, the satisfaction of service, the challenges of parenting. Are we com-passioned, “with passion” for others? Are we in love with life – or are we stuck on the seeming unfairness within our days and experiences. Might our orientation be a bit more outward looking, a smidgeon more directed to the world, to justice, fairness, generosity….an ounce more wide eyed at the awe, beauty and possibility we might live out in order that more realize more of who they are.

Peace and compassion and gratitude be yours…..to share, feel and enjoy. Questions and answers blowing in the winds of your life be yours as well. For life is too short and too full to hibernate, to insulate beyond others and to miss out on the amazing array of experiences and feelings and life-giving gestures we might yet offer to the world. Let this all come to pass.

The child in me greets the child in you.
The child in me greets the child in you…..and weeps, weeps
For what else is there to do? After the outrage and anger, the shock, the disbelief…the sadness, what else can we do?

Sometimes we must weep…we weep for our children….
Used, misused, abandoned, neglected, abused, forgotten

Hungry children, Hurting children, Tender children
Children whose smiles hide lives enshrouded in fear and disgrace,
Oh-so-young children who learn to pretend, they pretend and deflect, they hide dirty secrets, dirty secrets that bloom in the dark,
For if children live with blame and degradation, they learn to be shamed.

We weep for our children.

For in the face of a child, in the eyes of innocence,
It is there that we discover our most intimate humanity.
Where else but while holding a baby do we encounter such deep stew of emotions? All facade melts away and we are left with the most pure joy, the fiercest of love, and the most paralyzing tendrils of fear.

We are at once ferociously protective and terrifyingly vulnerable.
We are engulfed in adoration and overwhelmed by responsibility.

We vow to always be there, to nurture, to protect, to encourage and provide,
But even as we make these promises, we know our bravado to be false….we know that we cannot always be there, that there will be hurt, that we will yell and make mistakes, that life can be very hard, and we know that we will have to learn to let go….

And so we shift…we shift our dreams a bit…we come to see emergency room visits and slights by friends as part of life. We learn to be grateful for only smaller hurts. We grieve with friends and family, strangers and neighbors whose children get sick or hurt, who die too young.

And we know that we cannot raise our children in cultures of fear. We know that fear and revenge, hate and intolerance breed nothing that is good.

We learn to temper our instincts to hibernate and hide our children, to shelter them from all harm and we work to balance childhood innocence and trust with just enough worldliness to be safe…
We temper our lessons of trusting and love, with but not to trust blindly, to believe in goodness and love, but not to be naïve and vulnerable….

Want to hibernate, to turn inward, to keep our loved ones protected behind walls of brick and wood, enfenced with rules and laws to keep out the bad

We want to believe….we

And so in the face of yet another week filled with tales of children in pain, of missing young and abusing power, we begin to move past our anger

We remember to smile, to delight in childhood belly laugh, We see girls holding hands and skipping, boys helping one another up after football tumbles, we cry as our youth bring opera to life on a high school stage.

We’ve been exploring justice and activism over the past weeks. Coming out, the spark of revolutions, making the most of our lives in this world of change, taking stands and seeking greater justice. We also consider the power of our Yes and No. We continue to emphasize a Yes to equality, yes to inclusivity, No to injustice, No to bad religion. Yes to economic fairness and scrutiny, No to the widening gap between those who have and those who do not have.

Anne Lamotte said that No is a complete sentence. Our strong Nos and Yeses have an incredibly important place in our lives, with others and in all our relating. Our yes and nos and boundary setting are what give our lives greater meaning and compel us and others to take greater responsibility in all things. Boundaries provide needed space in our togetherness.

I once knew a couple who had very close relationship with their parents and step parents. So close so that they shared meals 2-3 times a week. And so close that upon the couple making love one night their parents stopped by, didn’t bother to even knock on the door…and waltzed right into their bedroom! Boundaries…

Boundaries have to do with almost everything. Our spending, eating and overeating, enabling others, over-responsibility for the feelings of others, lack of realistic anxiety, sexuality, alcohol. We need boundaries with our friends, kids, parents, colleagues – and with ourselves.

The great religious and spiritual traditions such as Buddhism, Christianity, Islam and Judaism affirm and speak of proper boundaries. They speak often of personal responsibility and how to discern when it is right, for example, to go the extra mile for another and when to allow one to carry a burden alone. Texts from these traditions are filled with boundaries around diet, behavior, and ethics. Ghandi, Buddha, Jesus and so many other leaders across the ages have known the importance of boundaries and challenging people who intruded on their emotional, mental, relational and religious landscape.

Boundaries are borders delineating what is yours and what is mine. Think of property lines. They are pretty clear. We typically have stakes on the edges or corners of our property. We sometimes have electrical poles marking the beginning or ending or our property. (reality of neck brace on as boundary – if I removed it I would need to tell you of my limitation bc you would not know).Our personal and relationship boundaries, however, need constant clarifying and identification. They are mostly intangible, unknown, invisible-yet so critically important. The need for boundaries and boundary issues pervade our lives. I suggest that most of human interchange and living has to do with boundaries.

Have you ever had anyone stand too close to you while talking? Have you ever had anyone discourage or insult you, or use guilt to manipulate you? What about times you have been taken advantage of? Or encountered a strong personality-type person overwhelming you and insensitive to your situation, feelings, thoughts or needs? Have you ever avoided a conflict or been a pleaser and then later resented yourself or another because of your inaction or inability or unwillingness to stand up for what you needed?

Our boundaries need to be conveyed and respected in order for there to be greater satisfaction, balance, mutual responsibility and justice in our lives. And I use justice intentionally because there is a powerful similarity and relationship between justice and boundaries.

Justice and boundaries have to do with what is fair and what is to be respectfully shared and owned. They both are about taking responsibility and doing what is right: Right living and right relating; not taking on more than we need or should and assuming and owning only what is ours.

One definition of justice I learned long ago is giving back to people what belongs to them. It could also be expanded to mean, being responsible for what is ours and what belongs to others. Justice and injustice play out in the largest scenarios around the world, on wall street in Oakland….and in our everyday relationships. Justice and boundaries have to do with claiming, respecting and protecting what is ours and what belongs to others.

Gustave Flaubert said, “Earth has its boundaries, but human stupidity is limitless.”

It may be true that we as human beings are often incapable of defining smart boundaries, but let there be an emerging optimism in communities such as this…for people to mature, to learn to set and convey boundaries consistently, to live with greater satisfactions and relating; to learn to safeguard what is ours in order to better give to the world and to each other our fuller selves.

Isn’t it true that when we or others don’t have clear and fair boundaries you know it? You can feel it. You feel the dissonance. You feel resentment and you generally know something is off or wrong. We know it when we cave in by not standing up for our rights to be heard, to be treated in a certain way. It is hard to be honest with another if we feel we may hurt them with our honesty.

And this makes it easy to not draw clear boundaries. We avoid conflict; we like to please people; we cave into strong personalities and cater to people’s whims. We let people slip by constantly by not demanding they take responsibility for their lives. When we allow another to proceed without respecting or hurting others, we do two things: We allow them to carry on without needed changes in their behavior AND we disrespect ourselves by not making a stand.

Over the years, my extended family has had many discussions about family dynamics and influences in our lives. I have had to grow, discover and claim my own inner strength, create emotional boundaries and differentiate from the fears, foibles, biases and beliefs of my parents and other family members. There was a time a close family member of mine consigned me to the hell she believed in because of my ideological and theological perspectives. I realized there were many possible responses to this declaration. I had to make a stand, set limits on how certain kinds of beliefs and judgments would affect me. Initially, I was deeply dismayed and saddened, but then I had to let it go. Her opinion was not mine to own or be affected by any longer. I had to revisit my convictions and know that I was well on my way as a developing, responsible, important child of the universe-not subject in this case to this kind of judgment.

Yesterday my extended family joined together in Holland to celebrate my grandmother’s 100th birthday. She was born on 11/11/11. I was reminded again how I have had to be myself, be honest, set boundaries and make stands at certain times. And we all have to set boundaries with our family don’t we? All of us need managing and active reminders of our need to honor and respect what is acceptable and what is not. If anything such as annoying or hurtful religious rhetoric happens, it is up to us to limit this influence in our lives. It may be our job to challenge any offender that their language, views or beliefs are hurtful to others. If the people around you are not challenged to abide by your limitations and boundaries, they will go on offending and disrespecting. And, you will go on resenting.

I have benefited greatly from Henry Cloud and John Townsend’s book entitled Boundaries. They use a biblical framework that bookends much of their content, but once you look past some of the traditional usages of scripture and Christian language, you will see inspiring and challenging work. My friend Kim suggested I read this book some weeks ago and it has transformed my thinking and behaving again. I continue to discover and practice how establishing healthy boundaries creates positive differences in my life. My parenting is more effective. The way I communicate with my kids and others is enhanced and I feel better and more confident in myself. If this community is interested, we could establish some discussion, a group, around this book or around boundaries generally.

Some ask me how I am able to stay grounded when I receive emotions, stories, trauma from people in pastoral situations. I point to what Ian has shared in past years: That one needs to be in the moment, to feel deeply, to honor and feel what is to be felt and known in the present – then to move on. Place boundaries around those contexts, feelings and experiences in order to honor those moments and then to allow room for the next moments, the next person you meet, the next situation or hour in life. If one does not establish realistic boundaries with emotions and the amount of content that may come from another, he or she ends up exhausted, resentful or overwhelmed. If we hang on and don’t impose healthy boundaries on our immediate emotions, we will be stuck and miss out on so much in life: the next feeling, the next encounter, the next challenge.

When I was in the hospital a number of weeks ago, I entered the operating room and was greeted by a nurse. What she did and said was truly assuring to me and a wonderful example of appropriate boundaries. As she placed the oxygen mask on my face, she touched my shoulders, looked at me right in the eyes and said, “We’re going to take very good care of you.” I was tenderized by that then and am now. You see, this nurse did and maintained two things: She was in the moment with me while conveying her care. And, she had her own limits and boundaries. She could not and did not get caught up in any fears or tears. She had a job to do with many duties but still conveyed genuine care in the moment. We know the challenges nurses and doctors have in not getting emotionally entangled with patients-to set clear boundaries. The nurse demonstrated care, respect and assurance – and yet drew safe appropriate boundaries. There was care and distance. Intimacy yet control and safe regard. Together, if we are sensitive, we can work on clear boundaries together and even hold each other accountable. I have learned this lesson recently….

I thank you for your care with my neck recovery. Healing is going well I believe. It has been inconvenient, but I have new appreciation of the interdependence between us all. I have been reliant upon your care and patience. I have had to place boundaries for myself – of what I can and cannot do. You have supported and challenged me to maintain these boundaries. It was Patti Baldus who caught me driving some weeks ago – and I had half the community upset with me. I broke a boundary and I am sorry – especially to all you who very much want me to recover well and fully. We can and should help each other set boundaries.

I wrap up by looking at the Luke passage….often called the story of the prodigal son. It actually is a story about the depths of love the father has for his children. Upon reading it recently, I discovered it was also an example of setting and living out boundaries.

The dad honors the request of the son asking for his share of the inheritance. He honors this arrangement and watches the son go. He does not argue or beg the son to stay. The son falls upon hard times after he blows all the money. It is likely that some may have helped him early on, but the story says that no one gave him anything when he was really in dire straits. Do you think people around the one son had to draw limits and boundaries with their care? They probably got tired of his loafing or leaching and irresponsibility. Ultimately the son had to realize what was going on and take responsibility. Still, the son schemed to get his way into the company of his father’s household, for things were better there for sure. The story seems to indicate that the son and father had no contact while the son was away. They kept their distance. The father, even if he did know the hard times his son was having, let him be. He did not bail him out. Rather, the father and the sons went about their ways.

But then a deep love of the father for the son took over once the son got near his old home. The son had his plan all set. Before the son could blurt out his plan, the father rushed in and hugged and kissed him. This is a beautiful case of love having no boundaries. It was unconditional love and grace unleashed upon the son. They began to celebrate with good clothes and tasty food.

Once the other son learned what was happening, he began to grumble. The father does an interesting thing here: He acknowledges the son’s complaint, anger and jealousy and affirms his place in the household….but does not get drawn into the drama. He sticks to his celebration plan to rejoice in the fact that his other son is alive. The father honors both sons and honors himself by being fair in his practices and abundant in his love. He maintains consistency and fairness and in the end cannot help but celebrate the return of the one son.

One good lesson here: Tis a pity to pout at the party. You just miss lots of good things!

There will always be discernment on how, when and where to maintain and bend boundaries. No matter what, boundaries need to be established so that we and those around us live with greater respect, sensitivity and responsibility. Plus, you have to have firm boundaries if you wish to break them from time to time.

The great traditions celebrate boundaries; And this community and each of us will thrive with greater understanding and with clearer boundaries. Discover what is diminishing you regarding your personal relationships, your diet, your job, your parenting style and then discern what steps are needed to enhance your experiences and relating. What Nos need to be practiced and in place. What new yeses may be in order. What new limits or boundaries are needed in order for you to achieve a new and lasting mode of living? What new limits or boundaries are needed in order for you to give of your better, happier self to others you love? There will always be resistance from others when you set new boundaries. Many will not wish to take responsibility for their own behavior and may not at first respect your boundaries. But, it is one of the most important things you can achieve and carry out.

Remember, whether you are intimate in bed or not, always demand people knock first!

The part of me that is able to put in place and practice boundaries honors that part in you that is able to let your yes and no be heard and to stand.

Within these sounds of silence stir our deepest thoughts, hopes and petty anxieties. Within these walls gathers a most human collection of men, women, children, visitors, veterans – all with hurts, needs and priorities. Welcome to the rest of your life on this sun-soaked day. What will you fill it with? What will you feel, invite, do, give and receive? Welcome you all to each other, your fellows who wish you well, who care for you, who have felt pain as you have. You are among trustworthy ones who want what is best for you. As we gather now let us succumb not to the cancer of busy-ness that would rob us of energy and will. Rather, let us quietly re-commit to healthy balance and bounty that would enliven our circles of influence….here, now and off into the rest of this incredible day.

The winds of November are indeed remembered and now felt. Early mist on water, sun rising and setting in its pre-winter trajectory. The change of conditions and clocks guide us into new patterns and habits, perhaps mini-revolutions-shifts in thinking, a new perspective, a change of mind….a needed attitude adjustment. We remember with sobering and exciting acceptance that while changes are not permanent, change is. We honor the permanence of change and the possibilities that come with everything being dynamic, changeable and not subject to dogmatic closure. Thus it is with religion, government, wall street, main street and we ourselves. For we and everything is a work in progress. We have not arrived. Our cells daily divide and die by the millions; we learn the cascading volumes of information and wisdom available to us from countless sources. On and on it goes.

May we this day stand up for any rights to be ourselves, to be fully human, to risk being closer to our essence that has been violated, hidden, bruised or demeaned. Let us also stand up for others who may be voiceless, friendless – any in need of assistance in order to live more responsibly, honorably and with greater balance. Might we this day give to the world what it needs while living sensually with and for ourselves. Whether we stand and gather in Muskegon or New York – in solidarity with principles and people – OR quietly take on some new revolution with self or with those near us – let us welcome and promote a changing of the guard – a shift away from trusted orders and narrow ruts of rituals. Let us think critically, clasp hands, join minds, make love, resist collusion and be part of the rising tide of change and hope for a tired, imbalanced world.

We pause to remember ones lost, those recovering, those staying sober, those near their earthly end, those just born – such as dear Maurice James. Don Anderson, recovering from surgery, Sherm Robinson, quietly fading in dignity; Caregivers everywhere tending to children, parents, friends, spouses, lovers. Let us be as neighbors to each other; lovers of life, promoters of hope, critiquers of systems, romancers and touchers of the skin and soul. Even in the sounds of silence, let us get up, stand up for rights and celebrate what life is worth, here, now, for ourselves and for people everywhere. So be it.

Welcome you all. Welcome to this chaplaincy and community of care with hospitable folk as well as challenges of new learning, more mature relating and responsible living. Gather now, side by side to be inspired, grounded and yet set free to fuller becoming. Here, now….get ready for one more small step of growth….growth toward the real you, toward unconditional service and to greater awareness of all you are about. Welcome you who need rest; welcome you justice seekers and demonstrators; welcome you all to the rest of life, a new beginning with some new glimmer of equity and heightened consciousness…in our thinking, doing, believing and hoping.

We pause quietly and yet with iron-clad conviction; Convictions over wealth, disparities with resources AND the possibility for change; we join together with unclenched fists and gentler breathing, yet with resolve toward fairness and equity in a world gone awry. We gather in the beauty of this season and pervasively in the world, yet also with deep-seated dissatisfaction over the way things are.

The milkweed has scattered; the waters quieted; all things and creatures accepting change and endings and the cycles of shutting down and anticipated rebirth. Instinct and preparedness guide nature and serve as a reminder of our need to be attentive in all our exchanges, all our words and actions. Let it be that respect, sensitivity and civility are known, appreciated and felt by all today and as we leave this center and haven of grand community.

Welcome now, all people. Let us be at peace and yet experience dissonance that comes with working toward justice and returning what belongs to our neighbors near and far. Let us provide safety and haven for all comers now and yet raise the roof in resistance to our collusion with systems, policies and practices that deny life. Let us, at least in part, quell our quest for conveniences or anything that adds to the world’s misery. Ah, what a journey. We are compelled to enjoy the world. And so we should. We are also invited to improve the world – and so we should. Enjoying and enhancing this world are both our dancing partners in existence, enjoyment, striving and working toward a fairer and just world for all.

This land is our land. So, too, are we the guardians and custodians of all that is shared and enjoyed. Let us never underestimate how our common values and our individual and collective commitments would change the world and alter living trajectories for us all. Let us co-create and initiate more scenarios where justice is served, known and seen. Will fairness be in our saving, our giving and generosity? Will it be known in demonstrations and solidarity with what we believe is fair or with advocacy for those needing assistance?Will it be quietly meted out in our families, school, workplaces, our bedrooms and kitchens….as we learn daily what it really means to play fair in this global playground?

Let us occupy the world with our better humanity-an intimate at-one-ness with the world; Opening ourselves up to the heights and depths of what it means to be alive, to be hurt, to be aware and in league with what gives life and hope and opportunity for us all. Let us occupy the world with neighborliness and hospitality and affirming people toward their rightful place in society. We extend and intend our care now….our love, our healing energy, our prayers, our mindfulness to all we love, to all we’ve lost- in this season some call all saints…to those near and far….so that they and we would realize the most profound satisfactions and fairness in life. May this all come to pass.